Nov 11
26
Don’t Eat and Network
Networking is not a free food free-for-all like back in college. Good God man, show some dignity. I’ve seen too many people at events eating like my 9-year-old son does: he parks himself in a strategic spot in front of the honey BBQ chicken wings, forks over some ranch dip and then once finished, follows the server like she’s a Siren back to kitchen. You have seen food before, right? And this happens after he’s had four slices of pepperoni pizza.
Speaking of following the server, I’m reminded how back in my sailboat racing days in Charleston, fellows twenty and even thirty years out of college after races would follow the server at the yacht club because he had the fresh mini-quiches. Crumbs? Forget it. These guys were professionals.
And that’s just it, at a networking event you want to be seen as the right kind of professional.
You don’t need to eat. You go to networking events to meet people you don’t know at all or know only through social networking. You go to these events to connect with others and to expand your sphere of influence.
Food is a distraction and it can get messy, so why put yourself through the pain and indignity?
Here are a few networking tips to help you survive the holidays with grace and professionalism:
- Eat before you go! Maybe you can eat afterwards with some cool people you met at the event and want to get to know better.
- It’s OK to have something to drink and hold it with your left hand so you can shake hands with your right. If you’re eating BBQ chicken wings you’d have to shake hands with your sticky fingers—yuck!
- There aren’t too many tables at networking events so it’s darn hard to manage exchanging business cards, note taking and picture taking with no hands, a broken fork and no napkins. Think of the freedom you’ll have by not eating!
- By not eating you won’t talk with your mouth full and you won’t spill anything on your tie or new dress that’s dry clean only.
Instead of thinking about eating, go to a networking event with a specific purpose in mind such as:
- Meeting five new people in two different fields
- Getting introduced to two people who are friends of your friends
- Get more business cards that you give away
- Answer at least three people’s questions
Before I close I probably should tell you I’m writing this post for restitution: I served BBQ chicken wings at a ladies networking evening event. I was told by the restaurant that it was the most popular food choice—what did I know? I should have consulted with an expert, but didn’t. The worst part was that not only were there BBQ wings, there was mustard and teriyaki and the only other food offered was celery. I tried to eat the wings, but it was a bloodbath. Sauce on your cheeks has to be worse that lipstick on your teeth. Instead of hiding under a table, I decided to make amends with a spinach dip that disappeared before I could say “Free wine.” Live and learn, especially when I brought home the leftovers that were even messy for eating in front of my sink.
Enjoy your holiday season and remember to eat a granola bar before you network!
Thank you, Dave Baldwin for giving me the inspiration to write this blog post! Check out his take on this subject here.
Posted in Networking by .
Claudine Moreau and Alice Osborn
What am I thankful for?
Living in North Carolina for one! Don’t you know North Carolina is the Writingness State?
I’m also thankful for the North Carolina Writers’ Network Fall Conferences and if you keep reading this post you’ll pick up a few tips from me.
Writing conferences are fabulous opportunities to meet other writers at all experience levels from outside your zip code, to soak up knowledge from experts and to solidify your Facebook and Twitter relationships. You can can check out publishing, blogging and speaking opportunities while sugaring your coffee and in the evening you can get to know your fellow writers through the open mic and after-event get-togethers.
I just came back from the 26th annual NC Writers Network (NCWN) Fall Conference in Asheville, NC and it’s my 6th NCWN Conference–they simply get better every year! Although I have been published and will have another poetry book come out April 2012 from Main Street Rag and I wasn’t presenting, attending conferences especially in my home state of NC, are vital for my career’s growth. At this year’s conference all of the workshops I attended were poetry workshops and I even crafted a poem which I sent at 7am Sunday to my critique buds.
Tony Abbott’s Master Class on Recitation encouraged me to memorize and recite one new poem every month in 2012 (one of my New Year’s resolutions). If you haven’t heard Tony recite, you’re missing an essential nutrient in your literary space. Scott Owens told his 40 participants to write about the “small moments” and to capture a year or a day in one line: For example: “2011 was the year I mattered to readers.” “Yesterday was the day I found the light.”
I also loved hanging with all of my favorite NC publishers: Kevin Morgan Watson of Press 53, M. Scott Douglass of Main Street Rag, Richard Krawiec of Jacar Press, and Keith Flynn of the Asheville Poetry Review. I also loved hearing Karen Wells tell us at lunch on Saturday what’s happening with ARTS NC and how we can make a difference in our local communities. I’m buying a license plate from ARTS NC emblazoned with “The Creative State”!
Richard Krawiec of Jacar Press and Alice Osborn
So in the spirit of giving, here are my writers’ conference tips from a veteran conference goer:
Stay hydrated: bring lots of waters or a thermos of water not only for the road, but for the conference. You’ll be using your brain all day and you’re bound to get thirsty. Also for all of you party animals, lots of water will fend off the groggies the morning after. I had two full bottles of water in my bag at all times.
It’s OK to take a break: You may think you have to make all of the events and speakers and workshops, but it’s OK to take care of some of your personal business, write (really? at a writers’ conference?) or take a little siesta. Although I missed the “Brilliant at Breakfast” meeting at 8am and I’m sure it was fabulous, I needed to get out for a run since I didn’t go outside for the rest of the day.
Gets lots of sleep the week before–You won’t sleep much at the conference and you’ll be tired from the drive. At conferences you do have to be “on” most of the time and it can be draining especially if you vote Introvert. I didn’t get a lot of rest, but did get enough sleep to function and not doze off at any key moments–like on the drive home.
Read all of the faculty bios. I’m so glad I took the time to read the faculty’s bios and publications so that I could talk to them about their latest amazing book or ask them any questions while we’re in the same room. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you’re physcially present in the same space as someone else! Doing your homework makes for successful networking and makes you look smart when your workshop leader is referencing their latest poem on soup.
Brings lots of cash. This one is a no-brainer since you know you’ll need cash for the books you’ll buy and for the cash bar! Your bank’s ATM may not be within easy access so plan accordingly.
Brings lots of business cards. Make your own cards via your home printer or go through a service like www.vistaprint.com
Bring your phone charger. The power in our smartphones drains quickly when we’re updating our status or uploading photos. I forgot my phone charger once on a trip, but was glad to have my car charger with me–always bring a back up charger!
Your Turn:
And there you go! Please comment below to tell me what tips I have left off and what you have gained from your writers’ conferences. I want to hear from you!
Posted in Networking by .
Nov 11
14
Stumbling on Happiness Review
Today we welcome back regular guestblogger, Dave Baldwin. Dave shares his review of Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert. Enjoy and think about what brings you happiness.
Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert does a great job exemplifying what it looks like to distill psychology into a practical layperson’s science. I’ve found that re-discovering happiness and fulfillment is an art, a science, and at times, an uphill battle. Gilbert helps to shed some light on the question of why. Gilbert doesn’t present a solution to a problem; he presents perspectives that I’ve found useful in my own process of unraveling it.
Gilbert is a great storyteller, and the book is a fun, fast read – which is my number one criteria for any book I recommend. He starts by raising ubiquitous questions that are not always asked out loud. For example, why do we often expect that certain things will bring us happiness, only to discover that they fail to meet expectations? That question forms the central inquiry of the book, and Gilbert attacks this question from various different angles, citing stories of happiness-based research projects and university studies.
When I read this book the first time, I recalled a particular incident in the Phoenix airport. I was flying home after a three-week trip to Tucson, Arizona, and our flight had a one-hour layover. I went into the airport to get a cup of coffee and something to read during the four-hour flight to Philadelphia. As I started walking back to my gate, I had a moment of panic. I had left my bag in the airport! I spent the next ten minutes hurriedly retracing my steps in a vain attempt to locate the bag, afraid that if I didn’t find it, it would be confiscated and destroyed by airport security. Out of time, I gave up and got back on the plane, thinking about how many things I would have to replace. When I arrived at my seat, the bag was sitting right under it.
Here’s the insidious part that had continued to haunt my mind for some time afterward. I remembered standing in the coffee shop. I could play back a mental video tape of the scene. I leaned over to set down my carry-on bag so that I could use both hands. The fact that I was able to remember doing this so clearly was the very reason why I could feel certain that I had, indeed, brought the bag off of the plane with me. This memory turned out to be completely false. After I read Stumbling on Happiness, it made perfect sense. According to Gilbert, the human brain does not store picture-perfect memories of what happened – it fabricates them on demand.
What does this have to do with happiness and the pursuit thereof? Since our memories of the past are not nearly as accurate as we think they are, we are likely to inaccurately project what will make us happy in the future. We believe that certain things made us happier (or less happy) than they did in the past, and we leave out critical details from our memories – even when we have the same experiences repeatedly. Gilbert cites the all-too-familiar example of Thanksgiving dinner. We overeat, then feel the consequences of overeating, vow never to do this to ourselves again, then proceed to repeat the whole mess in December.
Gilbert also talks about the process of making decisions, and how we select different options based on what we believe will make us the happiest in the future. The process, says Gilbert, is made complicated by a number of factors, including one that he calls “presentism.” Gilbert asserts that we all unconsciously assume that we have always felt (and will always feel) the same way about things that we feel now. He cites a study which found that people were far more likely to say they were happy with their lives on sunny days, and unhappy with their lives on rainy days.
Since reading this book, I’ve learned to re-evaluate the ways I seek to bring fulfillment into my life. For example, when I find myself wishing that I had more of this, or less of that, I automatically challenge the assumption. I now find myself looking for happiness in new places, and I’m finding that the process of pursuing happiness brings me more happiness than it used to. For example, I found that disciplining myself to write consistently brought me happiness, a little bit more each day. I also have found it easier to resist the temptation to indulge cravings for things like candy and rich desserts. I am able to walk past the ice cream aisle in the grocery store, indulging my senses with the visualization of each flavor – and not buy any of them.
I plan to re-read Stumbling on Happiness at least one more time in my life. I definitely recommend it. It may or may not give you the secret to happiness, but you’ll at least enjoy reading it.
Your Turn:
How do you define happiness? What makes you happy and fulfilled?
About Dave:
Dave Baldwin is a writer who has lived and worked in Raleigh, NC since 2007. He has self-published two books: Pied Piper Entrepreneurship (2009) and Get That Book Out of Your Head! (2009).
Posted in Book Reviews by .
