Never Eat Alone: Advice for Introverted Entrepreneurs

Today we welcome back regular guestblogger Dave Baldwin who shares his book review of Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi with us at Write from the Inside Out. As always in his blog posts, Dave provides you with valuable insights from his own hard-won experiences. Read on and we’d love to hear from you in the comments section.

I’ve been wrestling with a big challenge since I came to Raleigh and started out as a freelance writer. The million-dollar question: how can I develop a selling formula that’s effective and works naturally for people who fall on the introverted side of the Myers-Briggs personality scale?

A big part of my answer came recently when I picked up a copy of Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi. I wish I had read this book a lot sooner. I think that every high school student should read this book before going to college. Ferrazzi does a great job explaining the concept of networking in a way that’s not only friendly to introverts, but highly practical. Networking is one of those skills that’s not taught in schools, but should be, and I think Ferrazzi would agree with that statement.

Ferrazzi recalls a story about a time when he offered some advice to a young man who was considering starting his own public relations firm. Ferrazzi asked his mentee if he’d spoken to any prospective clients yet. The would-be entrepreneur replied that no, he didn’t see any reason to do that. His plan was to save up money for a few years, quit his job, incorporate, rent an office, and then start looking for clientele. His rationale: he couldn’t expect to have any credibility with clients unless he had an office. Ferrazzi advised the future business owner to start immediately contacting the kinds of people who might become his clients in the future—and offering them his services free of charge.

Ferrazzi’s advice was based on a number of different factors. For one, offering pro bono services would build trust, goodwill, solid relationships, and a professional reputation. Also, it would help the budding PR expert to learn about the nature of the business and craft a great service offering—without having to work under the pressure of being expected to deliver. Finally, Ferrazzi notes that no matter how good anyone is at what they do, no one can expect to meet a new prospective client and be hired by that person the next day. It takes time to build relationships, and people hire professional services on their own timelines.

When I read this story, I was excited and outraged at the same time. How could I have failed to think of something so simple? At the same time, an uplifting question occurred to me. What if everyone made a practice of giving away their services free of charge each month? I realized that Ferrazzi’s approach was doable for introverted business owners. Contacting someone to offer them a pro bono service with no expectations is a relatively easy thing to do—especially when compared to making sales calls.

In the early days when I first made the decision to go off on my own, I did exactly the kinds of things Ferrazzi advised his student not to do (though I didn’t rent office space). For example, during my brief venture as a distributor with Herbalife, I spent $200 on a pack of fliers made to hang on doorknobs. I got up at 3:00AM to sneak around a neighborhood and hang them for people to find in the morning. I walked into local stores and asked for people’s names and phone numbers. I called my friends and family members and asked them if they’d be interested in free “wellness evaluations” (sales pitches for health supplements). My mentors also advised me to put fliers under people’s windshield wipers at the rate of 1,000 per day. (I had neither the stomach nor the patience for that.)

My early training in sales came from boisterous, outgoing people. Extraversion dominated the culture of selling. In 2002, when I sold Cutco knives, a large portion of our training focused on simply being loud. Sales trainings were conducted to the tune of dance music at a rapid beat. Cheering and applause were mandatory. (You would literally be asked to leave the room and not come back if your body language or facial expression appeared to be less than enthusiastic). There was little talk of building relationships during these training sessions, except as an afterthought. We were encouraged to build rapport, but only as a tactic for closing the sale.

Approaches like Ferrazzi’s haven’t gotten much attention until recently. I used to think that I would never be able to sell—because sales required a different kind of personality. I came to realize that conventional selling, for the most part, had been designed for and by extroverts. I realized in 2007 that it was equally feasible to develop a sales method that would suit introverts equally well. Never Eat Alone, I think, covers this territory exceptionally well. The ideas I got from this book inspired me so much that I decided to start a new networking group.

If you struggle with networking or with your business in general, this book is definitely worth a read. You’ll find something in it for you. If you are looking for ways to pay it forward and help others, Never Eat Alone will provide even more value. Check it out!

Dave Baldwin is a copywriter who lives and works in Raleigh, North Carolina. He facilitates a networking group in Wake Forest, North Carolina.

Your Turn:

Entrepreneurs: we want to hear from you. Pro bono services yes or no? Has offering pro bono services made a difference for your business?

 

Finding the Perfect Workshop Venue for You

How do you know when you’ve found the perfect workshop venue? It’s usually when your students ask you to teach more workshops in that space! Now depending on what you teach you’re going to have different requirements for your students. Some of you may even use your own home as your workshop space, but you folks aren’t the people I’m talking to today.

Finding the right space for what you’re teaching is vital for your students to return and for your workshops to remain profitable. I’m currently teaching all of my live workshops at the Center for Excellence in Raleigh, NC and it’s been a fabulous partnership. The Center for Excellence offers tiered memberships depending on how many times a month you will use the space—this is a great arrangement, but there are other options out there besides dedicated workshop spaces—you can also teach at community centers or lifelong learning programs that will take a percentage of your participant fees or pay you a flat rate from your workshops. I used to teach at several of these centers, but have now streamlined all of my workshops at the Center for Excellence because it makes sense for my business.

If You Teach Writing Workshops Here’s What a Great Workshop Space Looks Like

  • The location is good with easy access from major highways and the parking lot is not on a high or low slope. Folks shouldn’t have to pay to park! If it’s possible to meet ADA requirements, the workshop space is on the lower floor or there’s an elevator nearby. At one of my workshops I once had a woman fall down the stairs and although she wasn’t too badly hurt, this incident made me think twice about upper level workshop spaces.
  • There are plenty of tables and comfortable chairs and the room can comfortably hold 20 people. (I know you want big classes, right?) Save your students’ necks with tables, not clipboards!
  • Good lighting is very important both inside the space in and in the parking lot for night classes. I love spaces that have large windows and natural light.
  • There’s a whiteboard, easel and projector available.
  • The space gives you access to a copier or printer when that extra person walks in.
  • There’s a kitchen available with a water cooler and coffee maker.
  • The space is clean, free of vermin and well-maintained.

I’ve been teaching live workshops for six years and can attest to the importance all of these points above. Cost is also something you need to think about and a more expensive workshop space can be worth it if you give a lot of workshops.

Your Turn:

What’s missing off of this list? If you teach workshops, please share some of your words of wisdom with us!

How To Network When You’re An Introvert

Here’s another guestpost from regular contributor Dave Baldwin. Today Dave shares with us how being an introvert can work for you, not against you, in the world of networking. Enjoy!

Steve HandI recently interviewed Steve Hand, current Director of the Raleigh-area Business Network International (BNI) chapters since 2007. BNI is a referral-based business networking organization. Members commit to joining an individual chapter for at least one year, and each chapter is “exclusive,” meaning that no two direct competitors can join the same chapter.

I belong to a BNI chapter myself, and as an introvert and a writer, I’ve personally noticed that BNI offers some great opportunities—while at the same time presenting a key challenge. Networking does not come naturally to me, and I’ve noticed that I’m not alone in this regard. When I walk into a room filled with people, my immediate tendency is to scan the room and look for people I already know. There have been times when I “lucked out” by happening upon one or two people as introverted as I was. Usually, we would stick to each other for the entire duration of the event. I’m just not a “work the room” kind of guy.

I opened the conversation by asking Steve what general lessons he had learned about networking since starting out with BNI. “There are two areas to focus on when it comes to networking: your intentions and your activity,” says Steve. “If your intentions are right, your activities may not be as effective as they could be, but sooner or later, they will catch up.”

How does this apply to an introvert in the world of networking?

Steve recommended How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. “Get interested in other people,” Steve said. “There’s a difference between being ‘interested’ and being ‘interesting.’ Extraverts tend to want to be ‘interesting,’ meaning that they have a tendency to talk about what they do and what they’re up to. There’s nothing wrong with that; it’s natural. Being ‘interested,’ on other hand, is about focusing on the other person and taking a genuine interest in them. That’s a lot easier by nature for an introvert to do.”

Looking back on my own networking experience, I have found this to be true. There have been times when I tried too hard to get the other person to take an interest in me. I can’t recall a single instance where this has ever worked. There have been a number of times when I made great friends in networking situations. I can also recall a couple of conversations when I barely said a word. This has usually happened because I stumbled on a question that gave the other person an opening to talk about something important to them. I also sometimes find myself in the proximity of a fellow introvert, whom I can generally recognize by virtue of the fact that they’re either standing alone, or disengaged from a group conversation. In situations like this, I’ve been pleasantly surprised to find someone who initially gave off what appeared to be hostile body language, only to warm right up when I initiated a conversation.

I also asked Steve about the general tendencies he’s observed among people who really benefit the most from participating in BNI and other networking groups. Steve’s answer should also come as good news to those of us on the introverted side of the fence. There are two elements to the characteristics of top performers:

  1. They do more “one-to-ones” than anybody else. A “one-to-one,” in BNI terminology, simply refers to meeting one person, usually at a coffee shop or other neutral location, to get to know that person in greater depth.
  2. They are more specific in their requests.

I’ve personally found that I like meeting people one-to-one much more than I like walking into a room filled with people standing elbow-to-elbow. I find the dynamics a bit awkward—for example, how does one break away from one conversation without seeming rude or inconsiderate? These issues generally don’t come up when meeting one-to-one. A one-to-one is more natural, and there’s a whole lot less pressure involved. One-to-ones also help to make bigger meetings less intimidating. I’ve noticed that when I started to have one-to-one meetings with the members of my chapter, the meeting started to feel more like walking into a roomful of friends.

As for the element of making specific requests, this can a bit more complicated—but focusing on one-to-one activity and by being “interested” rather than “interesting” makes it a lot simpler. In my case, I started out using a “shotgun” approach to networking. I initially believed that the more networking events I attended and the more business cards I handed out, the greater my chances of success would be.

I came to learn that this assumption was patently false—partly because the requests I made were general and vague. For example, I would often say that “a good referral for me is anyone who needs help with writing.” The vagueness of my requests, combined with the fact that I was spreading myself thin and failing to build quality relationships, resulted in inconsistent bursts of mismatched referrals. By contrast, I was looking for a job this past September, and my LinkedIn network led me to the names of key individuals in organizations where I was applying. In two cases, I was introduced to people with the ability to directly contact hiring decision-makers on my behalf.

Whether you belong to a BNI chapter or not, these are just a few strategies you can use to warm up your networking experience (and make more money!) Here is a quick recap:

  1. Meet people one-to-one as a regular part of your routine.
  2. Get interested in other people, rather than trying to figure out how to get them interested in you.
  3. Read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
  4. Make specific requests.

Steve Hand is an Executive Director with BNI, representing 11 North Carolina counties from Virginia to South Carolina, including Raleigh, Durham, Cary, and Fayetteville. The region contains 38 chapters with more than 700 members and generates more $15 million in annual profit.

DaveDave Baldwin is a writer who has lived and worked in Raleigh, NC since 2007. He has self-published two books: Pied Piper Entrepreneurship (2009) and Get That Book Out of Your Head! (2009).

Your Turn:

Share your networking successes with us here!