Today we welcome guestblogger, Harlow Coban! Harlow is the author of Life in Death, her debut novel which is now available. A fast-paced murder mystery, Life in Death is the first part of the Kari Marchant series. Read on to find out how to effectively turn your real life stories into captivating fiction!

My story isn’t a warm and fuzzy one. 

My father was murdered when I was 12 years of age.

A few years ago, at my uncle’s urging, I looked into what happened to him.  The police had suspects, but no one was ever arrested and the case remains unsolved.

I learned a lot about police procedure when I looked into my father’s murder.  It was then that I decided to write a novel. 

While my murder mystery novella, Life in Death, is not entirely based on what happened to my father, it draws from real life experiences I had with him. 

Writing the novel was a cathartic experience for me.  What I liked most, and found particularly cleansing, about the experience was my power to spin the story as I saw fit. 

We all love, hate, laugh, cry, and everything in between, so we’re never at a loss for stories to tell. 

Here’s how you get started writing a novel based on a true story:

• Determine what kind of story you want to write.  Talk to family and friends.  Look at newspaper articles.  I don’t want to be morose, but look at obituaries, too.  Take notes.  There are stories there. 

• Determine the story’s theme:  Good/evil, love/hate, birth/death, peace/war, etc.  Again, take notes.  This may be where the title of your book comes from or maybe not.  The title of my book came to me in a dream.

• Construct a compelling plot.  I suggest creating a plot outline to start with.  I used the “what if” technique to determine what would happen in my chapters.  Basically, you ask yourself “what if” this or that happened to your character and expand from there.

• Create dynamic scenes.  My advice is something has to happen in “every” chapter or scene. 

• Create multi-dimensional characters.  Many writers, including yours truly, base their characters on real people and then add nuances to create more complexity and depth.   This is one way to go.

• Read, read, read.  The more you read, the better writer you’ll become.   

• Lastly, start writing.  “Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop.” ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland.     

Truth can be stranger than fiction, but maybe not as entertaining.  The key to writing a novel based on a true story is in how you spin the story to make it enjoyable for readers.

About Harlow Coban:

Author Harlow Coban was born in Kansas City, MO, but grew up in Denver, CO.  She relocated to North Carolina five years ago with her husband, two dogs, and 16-year old twins.

She shares a birthday with the notorious Napoleon Bonaparte.  In keeping with his legacy, she is currently working on taking over the world.  Harlow’s positive attitude and fresh take on life are her tools and conquest is certain.

She spends her free time writing, dancing, traveling and defending mailboxes from her 16-year-old twins’ driving.

Her debut novel, LIFE IN DEATH (to be published in early 2012), is a murder mystery which pulls from real-life situations from her own family history.  She felt compelled to share her story with the world while offering a thrilling, entertaining, and amusing escape for readers.

In keeping with her commitment to improving the lives of children, a portion of the proceeds from the sale of her book will be donated to the Boys and Girls Club in her home state of North Carolina.

She loves to connect with her readers and can be found on Twitter, her Blog or on Facebook.

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Today we welcome regular guestblogger, Dave Baldwin for his first post of 2012! Dave’s been blogging at Write From the Inside Out for almost a year–that shows real commitment, staying-power and strategy. Dave talks about the power of guest blogging and I hope you’ll be inspired to seek out blogs to showcase your work so you can expand your sphere of influence and leverage your valuable time.  Heck, maybe you’ll even get a regular gig like Dave!

One of my goals for 2012 is to guest blog more often. Why? Because it just makes sense.

I’ll start with the obvious benefits. When you guest blog for someone else, you gain visibility on their platform, in front of their audience – in other words, people who might not otherwise have heard of you. Most blog owners will allow you to place a short bio at the end of each post, with a link back to your website. This helps your search engine rankings over time.

Those are good benefits, but they’re just the tip of the iceberg. Guestblogging is really about networking. As a bona-fide introvert, I think differently about networking. For people like me, networking is not about winning a prize for having the most contacts in my cellphone, nor is it about shaking hands and saying “What do you do?” Let’s face it; there are plenty of “networking” groups that don’t have much going for them aside from the free food. Guest blogging is a whole different kind of networking, and it’s severely underutilized.

How exactly does one “network” by guest blogging? Let’s take a step back and ask a more basic question: what is the purpose of networking? While the answer to that question differs for each of us, I’m a firm believer that we can all stand to benefit much more from building quality relationships with a small number of people than from handing out stacks of fliers and business cards (most of which will end up in trash cans).

Writing guest posts helps to develop your relationship with the person whose blog you write for. This happens partly because you are helping them by providing content to keep their blog current, but the process also forces you to learn what is important to them. Unlike your own blog, where you likely have too much freedom for your own good, your writing will be held to a higher standard when you write for someone else. If you agree to a fixed schedule, it also creates greater accountability. You can choose to blow off your own blog for months on end if you want; not so when someone else is counting on you for content.

Beyond helping the blog host, you open new doors by guest blogging. After all, blogs for which you guest post have established audiences. You never know who might be reading your posts and paying attention to what you’re saying. You just might run into some of those readers at a cocktail party in a year or two, and they may recognize you on sight. One thing that I’ve learned about the internet is that people pay attention much more often than they respond out loud.

Consider spending one hour per month writing a guest post for someone else’s blog. While it won’t yield instant results, it will pay off in spades over time. If you’re the  type of person (like me) who would just as soon skip the “networking” events filled with people you’ll never see again, you will love this approach to networking. Stay tuned next month for more out-of-the-box networking ideas for introverts.

About Dave:

Dave Baldwin is a writer who has lived and worked in Raleigh, NC since 2007. He has self-published two books: Pied Piper Entrepreneurship (2009) and Get That Book Out of Your Head! (2009).

Your Turn:

Do you guest blog? Share here what you think about it and what suggestions you can offer folks who want to try it in the New Year.

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All in all, 2011 was fairly decent with a few lows and many more highs. As we say “so long” to 2011 and hello to 2012, I felt the need to be self indulgent and review my year with you!

2011 was the year my book, Unfinished Projects published by Main Street Rag, debuted. I traveled about 5,000 miles this year promoting my book throughout the Carolinas along with visiting New York’s Book Revue Bookstore and the St. Louis poetry scene. I met so many fantastic people on all of my road trips, but my favorite gigs were in Charleston and Waynesville, NC. I don’t think I laughed so hard in Charleston after the Monday Night Poetry and Music show in April—ever. (I think it involved not getting caught on Spruill Ave, Hurricane Katrina and Star Wars tattoos—thank you, Aaron, Kevin and Katrina!) Waynesville (about 20 min west of Asheville) was also a trip and a half. My hosts from the Mountain Writers Club took me and my best buddy/honorary poetry roadie Jane to the Sweet Onion where the conversation was a lively as an electric eel. Stay tuned for more road trips in 2012 when I visit Columbia, SC, Asheville, Charleston and Hickory to promote my new book, After the Steaming Stops, coming out in March or April.

2011 was the year I cut my hair. I was so bored with my long hair and tired of strangers telling me I looked like Kathy Griffin, the comic. So I got my hair cut in mid-May. It was a good cut, but so…different. I couldn’t style my hair like before and my husband kept calling me “Prince Valiant.” Oy. The good news was that folks said I looked younger than my 29 years. I’ve got my hair now to about my shoulders after 7 months and I want to go long again. Another part of the good news is that I found a curling iron that keeps up with my style even in bad humidity and my long hairs don’t clog our sinks anymore.

2011 was the year I became a Reiki Level II practitioner. Reiki has helped calm me down—but only so much since as you all know I’m a very intense person. I’ll be training to be a Reiki Master this spring! I’m using my Reiki to be more aware and intuitive, plus with my hair growing longer, my intuition will only get stronger! (there’s a theory that the longer your hair, the better your psychic abilities)

2011 was the year I called 9-1-1 after my three-year-old daughter Erin severely sliced open the bridge of her nose when she jumped from the bathroom sink onto the edge of a plastic trash can. I guess she was practicing for a role in Spiderman? I remembered my health ed classes and kept steady pressure on her wound. She was cool with everything and found it interesting that her older brother practically fainted when he saw her five stitches. 2011 was also the year my son wandered into the deadly April 16 Raleigh tornadoes—I wrote a poem about it. He ended up safe but you should have been a fly on the wall when my husband, who was at work at the time, asked me where Daniel was and I said, “IDK!” and then he said, “Well, the roof of the Lowe’s in Sanford just blew off!” Daniel followed a neighbor with Chihuahuas back to her townhouse to ride out the storm. Oy vay.

2011 was the year I got Craig-Listed by my boss. I was the editor for a fledgling magazine for three months and the publisher (I use that term loosely) put my position up on Craig’s List with me still in the job! I quit the next business day. I have to say I met SO many awesome people in that position that it was worth the time. But I realized I don’t want to take a “jobby job”—I’m having too much fun as an entrepreneur where I set my own hours and have the opportunity to increase my income. Take this job and shove it!

2011 was the year I sang in public for the first time in 10 years. I got the singing bug back, so watch out! I want to take singing lessons next. 2011 was the year I gave blood again after 10 years. And 2011 was the year I took a humor workshop AND wrote and performed five humor-themed speeches. I used one of those speeches in my emcee duties at the CHERUBS Angels Masquerade Ball for babies born with Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH), but I cheated since I made fun of Charlie Sheen the whole time.

2011 was the year I visited the Ozarks, Fort Smith and St. Louis for the first time with my husband. In St. Louis I saw my first cousin KC after 17 years! That was cool. 2011 was the year I took up running again and published a blog post once a week—do or die!

2011 was the year every single one of my dresses, save one or two, came from the boutique consignment store, Our Friends Closet in North Raleigh off of Durant Road in Falls River Town Center. 2011 was also the year of teaching fantastic writers in my memoir workshops, fiction editing workshops and blogging workshops (both in person and online)—may the knowledge continue in 2012! I taught poetry at the Nazim Hikmet Festival in April, sponsored by the American Turkish Association and the Town of Cary, and will return to teaching at the Festival this year as well. I do it to be invited to the crazy Turkish after-party, but please don’t tell anyone that!

Well, goodbye 2011 and I know 2012 will create a wealth of good memories and fun! In 2012 I’m going to keep posting my blog once a week, memorize a classic poem every month and practice my singing and comedy routine, along with writing some more riveting poetry—so watch out!

Your Turn:

How did you survive 2011? What are your promises to yourself for 2012?

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Does your ringtone blurt out your favorite Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” or is it Tom Jones’ “She’s a Lady”? Or maybe you don’t have a song for your ringtone—instead you opt for the silent feature or vibration. Because it’s Christmas I have the theme from “The Nutcracker,”—and thanks to wanting this ringtone so badly I learned I was delinquent in my iOS 5 update!

Before getting my iPhone last year I had a variation of “Canon in C” or “Swan Lake,” and I mostly kept my phone on vibrate so I wouldn’t embarrass myself any further than I had to. But with my new gadget, I couldn’t wait to download iTunes and get personalized ringtones for my friends and family. You have to know I have a certain penchant for movie themes that lean to Westerns and adventure flicks generated from the mind of Spielberg.

Let’s see, my husband’s tone is “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly,” because that’s what marriage is like after 10 years (get off of my back—he selected it), my friend Dave Baldwin has the theme from Bonanza, because he always calls me with exciting news, my friend Barnsley has the theme from Magnificent Seven, because when we meet she brings optimism and ideas. I feel my endorphins elevate when I hear “Nutcracker” or the Raiders of the Lost Ark theme or CCR’s “Lookin’ Out My Back Door.” What was life like before song ringtones? This summer I had the theme from “Jaws,” but I had to switch to the theme from High Noon: “Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Darlin’” (which hardly anyone is familiar with and I like being obscure) because I started dreading picking up the phone. It’s not good when you cringe every time you hear your phone ring. That’s why you’ll never hear the theme from Psycho or Omen on my phone.  

Your Turn

Do you put a lot of effort into selecting your ringtones? If so, tell me what you have! Have you ever been embarrassed when your phone rings and it’s a song you wouldn’t want the other person to know you like? You know like, “I Just Called to Say I Love You,” or “Hello”? C’mon, tell me! It’s just between us:)

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Today we bring you back writer Dave Baldwin who chose The E-Myth Revisited by Michael Gerber as our featured book review. If you’re thinking about taking that entrepreneurial leap, get this book before you do so! Thank you, Dave, for sharing your time and talents on Write from the Inside Out. We look forward to more wisdom from you in 2012!

Bringing this year of writing book reviews to a close, I realized that I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t touch on one of the most influential volumes I’ve read since 2007. The E-Myth Revisited, by Michael Gerber, is a must-read business book for any entrepreneur in any season of business. It’s also a great read for an employee looking for a promotion at work. If you’re working at a dissatisfying job, thinking of starting your own business as a ticket to freedom from your dreaded boss, read this book twice before you make the leap.

Gerber says that most small businesses don’t work simply because their owners are not really entrepreneurs. They are “technicians” who have had an “entrepreneurial seizure.” A “technician,” by Gerber’s definition, is one of the three fundamental personalities required to operate a business, and the technician is the one who does the actual work, skilled or otherwise. The other two personalities are the entrepreneur and the manager. The entrepreneur is the visionary and the living force behind the business, while the manager is the problem-solver who makes sure that everything gets done and that the details get handled.

I had my entrepreneurial seizure in 2007 on a Friday morning, and I left my notice with my employer on Monday. The catalyst was burnout. I was driven to red-hot rage by the incompetence of my superiors, who called my cell-phone repeatedly on my day off, demanding that I immediately clean up the mess they had made. After calming down, I came to the conclusion that I didn’t need my job. I decided that I would start my own business. With chest puffed out and full of bravado, I charged forward, praising myself in advance for my anticipated success. To make a long story short, let’s just say that things didn’t work out nearly as well as I’d envisioned.

Gerber doesn’t try to exhaustively spell out every single thing there is to know about running a business; rather, he illustrates, from a bird’s eye view, the fundamental competencies that a successful business owner needs to develop. He uses a fictitious pie store as an illustrative example. The store owner is fed up with baking pies, even though she used to love it. Gerber says that this happens often, because of the false assumption that startup business owners nearly always make. People assume that if they are good at doing a particular thing, they will succeed in building a business that does that same thing. In Gerber’s example, the pie store owner loved baking pies, but didn’t appreciate the universal set of required business ownership skills – most of which has nothing to do with baking pies.

I wish I had read The E-Myth Revisited before I decided to work for myself. What I had failed to understand at the time – what I couldn’t possibly have understood – is that the transition to entrepreneurial life requires a fundamental shift in the way one thinks and operates. That shift does not happen overnight. I naïvely expected that I could teach myself to operate a business with the training I had, and a few other tricks that I would surely learn along the way. I didn’t realize that, because I had just spent thirty years being conditioned to think like a cog in the machine, it would probably take another thirty years to reverse that conditioning. At first, I took this as bad news, but soon, I realized that it was a perfect opportunity.

I thought that I would succeed at starting my own writing business, because I love to write and have been told by many that I am good at it. What I came to understand, after three years of marketing myself as a freelance writer, is that owning a writing business has nothing to do with writing. Owning a business is about engineering a brand, identifying a set of market segments, and developing a systematic methodology for reliably delivering a customer experience consistent with the values of the brand. It takes a true entrepreneur, combined with a skilled manager and a methodology for training writer-technicians, to make this happen.

I came to the conclusion that the enterprise I’d envisioned would indeed happen, and that I would create it just like I envisioned. It was just going to take a lot longer than I thought. Contrary to what I had believed previously, I would not have to spend thirty years suffering through unpleasant jobs in exchange for the promise of “someday” getting to build the enterprise. In fact, there was only one way the idea would stand a chance of working—I would have to evaluate every decision I made in light of my vision. This past October, for example, I went to work as a writer for a local marketing firm in Raleigh. When I initially received the offer, I asked myself if this position would truly train me in the skills I would need to build my vision. Would this employer support my journey at each step? Would they encourage me to do what I knew was my calling, or would they put roadblocks in my path? I came to believe that they would be active supporters, and they haven’t let me down so far.

Gerber’s message has really come alive for me in recent months. I’ve begun to experience his words at a deeper level. Becoming a successful entrepreneur is not about having an “entrepreneurial seizure” and becoming an overnight success. It’s about nurturing and cultivating the traits which we all have inside us, one day at a time.

If you’re thinking of starting your own business, The E-Myth Revisited would be a great place to start. Read it before you quit your day job.

About Dave:

Dave Baldwin is a writer who has lived and worked in Raleigh, NC since 2007. He has self-published two books: Pied Piper Entrepreneurship (2009) and Get That Book Out of Your Head! (2009).

Your Turn:
What are your entrepreneurial traits? If you are an entrepreneur, how do you think others view your skills and talents? If you’re in a traditional job, what do you think you’ll need to take that entrepreneurial leap?

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Are you Networking Instead of Working?

Are you keeping your calendar full with meeting new people but can’t seem to find the time to get any work done? As a freelance writer and entrepreneur when do you draw the line of working in your business (networking) instead of on your business (working on client work, admin, etc)?

Sure, it’s important to meet old and new friends at power lunches, breakfast meetings and evening networking events, but you have to try not to overextend yourself to the point of not meeting your deadlines or overpromising your delivery. A few years ago I was volunteering to lead a monthly open mic, a monthly morning networking writing group and book club, as well as attending my weekly women’s networking referral group. I had client work due on Thursday, the same day as the morning networking group, and had to tell the client I couldn’t finish her work. It was at that point I knew I had to let some of my networking go and today I’m always cognizant letting outside activities that could be classified as work get in the way of work.

 Now that we’re in the month of December there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done if we don’t plan smart.

Here are a few of my tips and suggestions:

Yes, networking is important so folks don’t think you’ve dropped out of circulation, but try not to have a networking event going on every day. Middle of the day events do take a lot of time in terms of getting ready for them, and driving there and back. Ask yourself if you can afford not to work on your project for a three hour block. If you can’t, either don’t make the event or see if you sacrifice some time (or sleep—not really recommended) elsewhere.
Designate a day for only getting your own work done—it doesn’t have to be a weekday if that’s easier for you, but on this day, you should try to keep out-of-the-office meetings to a minimum so you have concentrated time to write/work without distractions.

Look at your deadlines and if you can help it don’t schedule a networking event right before a deadline. Give yourself room to breathe! If you can’t escape the social commitment, then frontload your activities, giving yourself plenty of time so you don’t end up cramming and delivering sloppy work to your client.

Prioritize your networking. Make sure you’re not networking to avoid work—what are your goals for this event? Do you want to reconnect with former acquaintances, do you want to establish a toehold with a certain brand or do you want to see a particular speaker/workshop leader at a luncheon?

Designate a networking policy. Maybe your policy is that you don’t attend two evening events back to back or you limit yourself to a networking luncheon once a month. Whatever your policy is, make sure you stick to it.

After networking, are you following up on your new contacts and do you see added benefits from the time you spent outside the office networking? If so, bravo! Your networking is paying off and leading to better work for you.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, tired or not as productive, limit your outside activity and adjust accordingly. Pay attention to the signals and remember is OK to say, “No” and protect your time! As a freelancer, time is our most precious commodity.

Your Turn

What tips do you have about maintaining a networking/working balance that I have not mentioned?

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Networking is not a free food free-for-all like back in college. Good God man, show some dignity. I’ve seen too many people at events eating like my 9-year-old son does: he parks himself in a strategic spot in front of the honey BBQ chicken wings, forks over some ranch dip and then once finished, follows the server like she’s a Siren back to kitchen. You have seen food before, right? And this happens after he’s had four slices of pepperoni pizza.

Speaking of following the server, I’m reminded how back in my sailboat racing days in Charleston, fellows twenty and even thirty years out of college after races would follow the server at the yacht club because he had the fresh mini-quiches. Crumbs? Forget it. These guys were professionals.  

And that’s just it, at a networking event you want to be seen as the right kind of professional.

You don’t need to eat. You go to networking events to meet people you don’t know at all or know only through social networking. You go to these events to connect with others and to expand your sphere of influence.

Food is a distraction and it can get messy, so why put yourself through the pain and indignity?

Here are a few networking tips to help you survive the holidays with grace and professionalism:

• Eat before you go! Maybe you can eat afterwards with some cool people you met at the event and want to get to know better.

• It’s OK to have something to drink and hold it with your left hand so you can shake hands with your right. If you’re eating BBQ chicken wings you’d have to shake hands with your sticky fingers—yuck!
     

• There aren’t too many tables at networking events so it’s darn hard to manage exchanging business cards, note taking and picture taking with no hands, a broken fork and no napkins. Think of the freedom you’ll have by not eating!

• By not eating you won’t talk with your mouth full and you won’t spill anything on your tie or new dress that’s dry clean only.

Instead of thinking about eating, go to a networking event with a specific purpose in mind such as:

• Meeting five new people in two different fields
• Getting introduced to two people who are friends of your friends
• Get more business cards that you give away
• Answer at least three people’s questions

Before I close I probably should tell you I’m writing this post for restitution: I served BBQ chicken wings at a ladies networking evening event. I was told by the restaurant that it was the most popular food choice—what did I know? I should have consulted with an expert, but didn’t. The worst part was that not only were there BBQ wings, there was mustard and teriyaki and the only other food offered was celery. I tried to eat the wings, but it was a bloodbath. Sauce on your cheeks has to be worse that lipstick on your teeth. Instead of hiding under a table, I decided to make amends with a spinach dip that disappeared before I could say “Free wine.” Live and learn, especially when I brought home the leftovers that were even messy for eating in front of my sink.

Enjoy your holiday season and remember to eat a granola bar before you network!

Thank you, Dave Baldwin for giving me the inspiration to write this blog post! Check out his take on this subject here.

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Claudine Moreau and Alice Osborn

What am I thankful for?

Living in North Carolina for one! Don’t you know North Carolina is the Writingness State?

I’m also thankful for the North Carolina Writers’ Network Fall Conferences and if you keep reading this post you’ll pick up a few tips from me.

Writing conferences are fabulous opportunities to meet other writers at all experience levels from outside your zip code, to soak up knowledge from experts and to solidify your Facebook and Twitter relationships. You can can check out publishing, blogging and speaking opportunities while sugaring your coffee and in the evening you can get to know your fellow writers through the open mic and after-event get-togethers.

I just came back from the 26th annual NC Writers Network (NCWN) Fall Conference in Asheville, NC and it’s my 6th NCWN Conference–they simply get better every year! Although I have been published and will have another poetry book come out April 2012 from Main Street Rag and I wasn’t presenting, attending conferences especially in my home state of NC, are vital for my career’s growth. At this year’s conference all of the workshops I attended were poetry workshops and I even crafted a poem which I sent at 7am Sunday to my critique buds.

Tony Abbott’s Master Class on Recitation encouraged me to memorize and recite one new poem every month in 2012 (one of my New Year’s resolutions). If you haven’t heard Tony recite, you’re missing an essential nutrient in your literary space. Scott Owens told his 40 participants to write about the “small moments” and to capture a year or a day in one line: For example: “2011 was the year I mattered to readers.” “Yesterday was the day I found the light.”

 I also loved hanging with all of my favorite NC publishers: Kevin Morgan Watson of Press 53, M. Scott Douglass of Main Street Rag, Richard Krawiec of Jacar Press, and Keith Flynn of the Asheville Poetry Review. I also loved hearing Karen Wells tell us at lunch on Saturday what’s happening with ARTS NC and how we can make a difference in our local communities. I’m buying a license plate from ARTS NC emblazoned with “The Creative State”!

Richard Krawiec of Jacar Press and Alice Osborn

So in the spirit of giving, here are my writers’ conference tips from a veteran conference goer:

Stay hydrated: bring lots of waters or a thermos of water not only for the road, but for the conference. You’ll be using your brain all day and you’re bound to get thirsty. Also for all of you party animals, lots of water will fend off the groggies the morning after. I had two full bottles of water in my bag at all times.

It’s OK to take a break: You may think you have to make all of the events and speakers and workshops, but it’s OK to take care of some of your personal business, write (really? at a writers’ conference?) or take a little siesta. Although I missed the “Brilliant at Breakfast” meeting at 8am and I’m sure it was fabulous, I needed to get out for a run since I didn’t go outside for the rest of the day.

Gets lots of sleep the week before–You won’t sleep much at the conference and you’ll be tired from the drive. At conferences you do have to be “on” most of the time and it can be draining especially if you vote Introvert. I didn’t get a lot of rest, but did get enough sleep to function and not doze off at any key moments–like on the drive home.

Read all of the faculty bios. I’m so glad I took the time to read the faculty’s bios and publications so that I could talk to them about their latest amazing book or ask them any questions while we’re in the same room. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you’re physcially present in the same space as someone else! Doing your homework makes for successful networking and makes you look smart when your workshop leader is referencing their latest poem on soup.

Brings lots of cash. This one is a no-brainer since you know you’ll need cash for the books you’ll buy and for the cash bar! Your bank’s ATM may not be within easy access so plan accordingly.

Brings lots of business cards. Make your own cards via your home printer or go through a service like www.vistaprint.com

Bring your phone charger. The power in our smartphones drains quickly when we’re updating our status or uploading photos. I forgot my phone charger once on a trip, but was glad to have my car charger with me–always bring a back up charger!

Your Turn:

And there you go! Please comment below to tell me what tips I have left off and what you have gained from your writers’ conferences. I want to hear from you!

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Today we welcome back regular guestblogger, Dave Baldwin. Dave shares his review of Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert. Enjoy and think about what brings you happiness.

Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert does a great job exemplifying what it looks like to distill psychology into a practical layperson’s science. I’ve found that re-discovering happiness and fulfillment is an art, a science, and at times, an uphill battle. Gilbert helps to shed some light on the question of why. Gilbert doesn’t present a solution to a problem; he presents perspectives that I’ve found useful in my own process of unraveling it.

Gilbert is a great storyteller, and the book is a fun, fast read – which is my number one criteria for any book I recommend. He starts by raising ubiquitous questions that are not always asked out loud. For example, why do we often expect that certain things will bring us happiness, only to discover that they fail to meet expectations? That question forms the central inquiry of the book, and Gilbert attacks this question from various different angles, citing stories of happiness-based research projects and university studies.

When I read this book the first time, I recalled a particular incident in the Phoenix airport. I was flying home after a three-week trip to Tucson, Arizona, and our flight had a one-hour layover. I went into the airport to get a cup of coffee and something to read during the four-hour flight to Philadelphia. As I started walking back to my gate, I had a moment of panic. I had left my bag in the airport! I spent the next ten minutes hurriedly retracing my steps in a vain attempt to locate the bag, afraid that if I didn’t find it, it would be confiscated and destroyed by airport security. Out of time, I gave up and got back on the plane, thinking about how many things I would have to replace. When I arrived at my seat, the bag was sitting right under it.

Here’s the insidious part that had continued to haunt my mind for some time afterward. I remembered standing in the coffee shop. I could play back a mental video tape of the scene. I leaned over to set down my carry-on bag so that I could use both hands. The fact that I was able to remember doing this so clearly was the very reason why I could feel certain that I had, indeed, brought the bag off of the plane with me. This memory turned out to be completely false. After I read Stumbling on Happiness, it made perfect sense. According to Gilbert, the human brain does not store picture-perfect memories of what happened – it fabricates them on demand.

What does this have to do with happiness and the pursuit thereof? Since our memories of the past are not nearly as accurate as we think they are, we are likely to inaccurately project what will make us happy in the future. We believe that certain things made us happier (or less happy) than they did in the past, and we leave out critical details from our memories – even when we have the same experiences repeatedly. Gilbert cites the all-too-familiar example of Thanksgiving dinner. We overeat, then feel the consequences of overeating, vow never to do this to ourselves again, then proceed to repeat the whole mess in December.

Gilbert also talks about the process of making decisions, and how we select different options based on what we believe will make us the happiest in the future. The process, says Gilbert, is made complicated by a number of factors, including one that he calls “presentism.” Gilbert asserts that we all unconsciously assume that we have always felt (and will always feel) the same way about things that we feel now. He cites a study which found that people were far more likely to say they were happy with their lives on sunny days, and unhappy with their lives on rainy days.

Since reading this book, I’ve learned to re-evaluate the ways I seek to bring fulfillment into my life. For example, when I find myself wishing that I had more of this, or less of that, I automatically challenge the assumption. I now find myself looking for happiness in new places, and I’m finding that the process of pursuing happiness brings me more happiness than it used to. For example, I found that disciplining myself to write consistently brought me happiness, a little bit more each day. I also have found it easier to resist the temptation to indulge cravings for things like candy and rich desserts. I am able to walk past the ice cream aisle in the grocery store, indulging my senses with the visualization of each flavor – and not buy any of them.

I plan to re-read Stumbling on Happiness at least one more time in my life. I definitely recommend it. It may or may not give you the secret to happiness, but you’ll at least enjoy reading it.

Your Turn:

How do you define happiness? What makes you happy and fulfilled?

About Dave:

Dave Baldwin is a writer who has lived and worked in Raleigh, NC since 2007. He has self-published two books: Pied Piper Entrepreneurship (2009) and Get That Book Out of Your Head! (2009).

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Are you still double spacing after you end a sentence? Well, stop! All of the style guides The Chicago Manual of Style, the AP Stylebook, and the Modern Language Association (MLA) except for the American Psychological Association want you to space only once after you end a sentence. I know, I know, it may be really hard to break the habit of hitting the space bar twice, but you’re still not listening to your 8-track today, right?

You might be wondering how you didn’t get the spacing memo. Since word processors came into being in the late 70s/80s, spacing only once after a sentence has become the norm. This is because typewriters monospaced all of the characters, so that an “i” took up the same space as an “m.” Computers use proportional spacing so each character is adjusted for the space and double spacing after periods became an extra unnecessary step. In addition, newspapers frowned on having all of that wasted space in columns which could become valuable ad dollars. In my high school typing class in the late 80s, I was taught to double space after periods and colons—it took me awhile to change my old habits, but I have faith you can too!

But Don’t Two Spaces Look Better?

Not really. Two spaces make the document “holey” and disjointed. It DOES NOT make it easier for someone to read your work nor does it help the reader know you ended your sentence. As an editor, my eyes go directly to the double spaces and then I start hyperventilating, wondering how many spaces I’ll need to correct. So yes, this blog post is really a public service announcement for my present and future clients!

What if You Don’t Want to Change Your Double-Spacing Ways? 

My, aren’t we stubborn? Well, you can stick it to the Man by double spacing in your emails, drafts and letters. Just don’t double space when you’re sending off that email to your future agent, editor or publisher.

Bottom line: please save the spaces! It only takes a small change to make a big difference!

Your Turn:

Are you a single spacer or a double spacer?  How do you feel about this convention?

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