Are you getting in our your own way and stopping yourself from achieving fantastic things like publishing a book, landing higher-paying clients, securing a prestigious speaking or conference gig? Chances are you may be sabotaging your potential successes due to old scripts playing in your head. Or perhaps you’re fearful of success. What? Fearful of success? Sure. A higher level of success means that you’ll be seen more, judged more and others will have higher expectations of you. Yikes!
Only you can stop yourself from getting in your way and only you can figure out what “success” really means. But if you feel frustrated that you can’t quite get the results you want, it’s time to ask yourself these four questions.
- Are You Procrastinating? You can procrastinate or stall in countless ways by checking email, checking Facebook, watching TV, being late, or not getting enough sleep. You can also procrastinate by being a perfectionist and telling yourself you can’t show your work to anyone because it’s “not ready.” I procrastinate the most when I know that something is not going to come easy, like when I’m practicing a new piece of music on my violin or guitar and it sounds awful! It’s no fun to listen to yourself play badly, but there’s no way around it if you want to get better. To beat procrastination, I do my hardest tasks early in the morning when I’m most awake. I shut off my phone and email and also have a deadline set up for when the project needs to get done. Usually, I do my best work when I have a few deadlines coming up, but this is not advisable ALL the time. I’m also working on not being late all of the time—now I’m only late some of the time!
- Are You Scared Of Rejection? Everyone fears rejection; you just have to get over this fear if you want to meet your goals. Don’t assume the person you’re emailing for an interview or workshop proposal is going to reject you even before you send the email. Do it anyway! And if you’re sending your fiction, essays or poems out, send them out to journals and anthologies out of state and places that are more competitive. Same goes for residencies, fellowships and scholarships you think you won’t get. Stop playing it safe all of the time because you think you’re not good enough.
- Are You Not Asking For Enough Money? Are you assuming a potential client can’t pay you what you’re worth, so you offer a lower fee? If so, then stop it. If they say they can’t pay you want you need, then you don’t need to take on that client. It’s okay to say no, which always opens you up to another opportunity down the road. Trust me on this and read my blog post about “Saying No and Letting Go.”
- Are You Not Saving Enough Money? If you are not saving enough or have debt, what are you doing RIGHT NOW to move you toward your goal of a house, car, nest egg, etc.? Are you tracking your expenses? Are you avoiding retail stores if that’s your weakness (not that I would know about that, hehe). Where can you cut back in your daily life? This may mean you stop driving so much, bring your lunch to work, sell some of your old furniture, clothing, musical instruments, Star Wars figures (oh, no, not the Ben Kenobi action figure!), etc.
Finally, stop calling yourself “dumb,” “stupid,” “retarded,” or an “idiot.” Replace with, “I am a beautiful, loving person” or “I am generous and lovable and smart. I am blessed and grateful to be alive.” Your choice of words matters and will help you from getting in your own way. Love yourself. Give yourself a hug today. You have the power to be your own hero!
Calling All Heroes! Celebrate Alice’s New Book, HEROES WITHOUT CAPES
Alice Osborn’s Heroes without Capes Book Launch
Location: So & So Books, 704 N Person St. Raleigh, NC 27604
Sunday, September 20, 2015 Time: 5-6:30 p.m.
FREE and OPEN TO THE PUBLIC, Wine and launch cake served.
Calling all heroes! Join the celebration for Alice Osborn’s new book of poetry, Heroes without Capes. This book is about the struggle against daunting obstacles and how we reach deep down to discover our own heroic natures. Former North Carolina Poet Laureate Joseph Bathanti says, “These poems by Alice Osborn—a number of them wonderfully hybrid and distinctive in form—draw a steady bead on heroes and the heroic and, within that malleable context, the anti-hero as well. Heroes without Capes deftly imagines a hierarchy where the fanciful as well as the mundane are rendered not only heroic, but mythic. The language is tough, sanguine, funny and, above all, memorable.” Come out to meet Raleigh poet/book coach/editor/Star Wars nut Alice Osborn at So & So Books. After reading her poetry and singing original tunes, Alice will be happy to autograph your books!
Calling All Heroes Alice Osborn’s Heroes without Capes Reading
Location: Lucky Tree Café and Gallery, 3801 Hillsborough St, Raleigh, NC 27607
Thursday, September 24, 2015 Time: 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.
FREE and OPEN TO THE PUBLIC, Wine and light refreshments served.
Calling all heroes! Come out after work to meet Raleigh poet/book coach/editor/Star Wars nut Alice Osborn at Lucky Tree to celebrate her new book of poetry, Heroes without Capes. After reading her poetry and singing original tunes, Alice will be happy to autograph your books! Former North Carolina Poet Laureate Joseph Bathanti says, “These poems by Alice Osborn—a number of them wonderfully hybrid and distinctive in form—draw a steady bead on heroes and the heroic and, within that malleable context, the anti-hero as well. Heroes without Capes deftly imagines a hierarchy where the fanciful as well as the mundane are rendered not only heroic, but mythic. The language is tough, sanguine, funny and, above all, memorable.”