Inner Critic | Alice Osborn

Guestpost: Coach Olga Tames the Inner Critic

Today I want to welcome my new guestblogger, Coach Olga Monroe of Raleigh, NC as she shares valuable tips on taming that Inner Critic! Welcome, Olga, and I look forward to having you guest blog again here at aliceosborn.com! “When life turns upside down, stand on your head!” I frequently recall this quote from Bapsy Jain’s Luck Everyday. Luck Everyday is a story about the human spirit’s ability to adjust to the challenges that life throws our way. Throughout my life I have remained flexible and have adapted to my circumstances. Bravery, inner strength and resiliency give me the staying power to contribute to life and serve those around me. Staying power stands up to the Inner Critic that many of us carry within us. In this post I will share tips on how to battle your Inner Critic and keep your motivation going. What is the most significant relationship, situation and/or challenge that you face? I suggest that you identify, name and objectify this obstacle. Visualize a physical object associated with this issue; name it (if there isn’t already one) and notice the physical sensation(s), in your body, when you experience this challenge. An example is that of guilt over an issue. Guilt is one of the most toxic inner critics. I visualize guilt as an old, nasty, smelly, worn out plastic object. Whenever I feel that nauseous sensation in my stomach associated with guilt, I say to the nasty object, ”I recognize your presence………..” Then there are many personal questions, comments and conversations that you may have with this object. For example, “I recognize your presence. What is it that you want from me? Why are you here?” Take time to breathe, quietly and intently. Allow yourself to listen. What do you hear? Give yourself the chance to stop and pay attention to what your senses are telling you. Create awareness and objectify your situation. Then you have the power over the circumstances as opposed to the circumstances controlling you. On a more positive note, what is working about your life? Make a list of blessings, give thanks and gratitude for these and draw on them as anchors. Thankfulness, gratitude and appreciation of one’s blessings is one of the most powerful and therapeutic antidotes to the inner critic. “A thankful heart turns sorrow into joy, drudgery into pleasure, pessimism into optimism, depression into hope, hatred into love. Thankfulness is a choice!” Gregory Mollner The hardest, most challenging and disliked situations are the ones that we need the most. I call the negative voices that haunt, defeat and hold us back from our dreams, the Saboteur or Gremlin. The irony is that if the Saboteur is there, then that is the place in which we need to dig deeper. Confronting our Saboteur can be a formidable challenge, but what awaits us on the other side is our Higher Self. Once we identify the factors of this equation, the rest is a matter of regular and conscious practice. Day by day, we grow beyond what we thought was possible for ourselves. Look back at circumstances a few months ago, one year ago and a few years ago. What were the state of affairs in your life? How do those situations relate to the present? Where is the learning? There is a way for everyone to succeed, as long as we learn, grow and use each experience, there is the ability to receive and share the benefits of life. The last suggestion I wish to make is to allow yourself to rely on a community for support. Remember that we are all part of a grand, evolving Universe. Drawing on friends, family and fellow like-minded people is a source of support, inspiration and love. About Coach Olga Olga is a Certified Professional Co-Active Life Coach & Mentor who passionately inspires and motivates clients desiring to realize and achieve their life purpose to their fullest potential through a system of perspectives. She encourages her clients to see the world and its many opportunities in a new way by learning to step fearlessly into their roles as leaders at work, in their family, and within the community. Contact her here or call her at 919-604-0104. Also visit her at ChicksWhoKnow. Download Olga’s free Guided Meditation of Your Future Self now at http://www.yourrichesilluminated.com Your Turn: Tell us a time when you dealt with your Inner Critic and what happened.

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Finding Freedom from Your Inner Critic

When was the last time you heard this?:

You’re wasting your time writing this garbage
You’re just a dreamer!
Why do you think anybody cares what you have to write?
Nobody in your family ever did this before!
When you fail, you’re going to be a laughing-stock and look at all of the time you wasted!
You failed before and you’ll fail again—don’t even try! Writers are moody, on drugs and their families abandon them. You don’t want to become like that, do you?

If you have but it’s only come from your head, then you’ve been visited by the Inner Critic! As writers we constantly hear the Inner Critic because we’re doing something that’s not traditional “work.” We hear the IC because it’s trying to talk us out of being creative and different. Perhaps it’s saying that the world doesn’t need another poem or that we’re recycling an old idea no one will want to read about again. As writers, we will always find the IC lurking around corners and it’s our job to control it so it doesn’t control us. What is your inner critic? It’s an internal voice that nags, warns or shames you out of things you want to do. Basically it’s a survival instinct against criticism and rejection designed to keep you in your comfort zone, i.e. watching TV rather than work on your novel. It’s the adult to our creative child. It’s our fear of failure and of making a big mistake. On that note, the bigger the plan, the bigger the IC’s nags. But here’s a news flash for you: all writers are failures; they just know how to tame their inner critic through learning about it, recognizing it and forgiving themselves. The IC loves giving you Negative self-talk. There’s a strong connection between perfection and procrastination that feeds into the IC’s wicked maw. Here are a few examples: Ex: this project has to be perfect or they’ll all think I’m dumb. So I’ll not start it until I get more research done Ex: If I can’t do it right, then I won’t do it at all, so the piles of paper can still collect dust on the kitchen table How Do We Manage Our Inner Critic: Learning, Recognizing and Forgiving I. Learn What does this critter called the Inner Critic look like? Give it a face. Is it your former French teacher, your mother, a demon with a long scarlet tail? As mentioned earlier the Inner Critic likes to hang around corners, but he/she doesn’t like to have the center stage. When you start keeping tabs on your critic, or shining a light on your IC, it’s suddenly not as powerful anymore. You can do this via writing down when the IC appears and even keep a log. Use Post It Notes, too, to see where these criticisms are coming from. What time of day do they seem strongest? Do they come after you’ve worked all day or after dinner? Note: if you ignore your Critic, it will grow like dam waiting to burst. Keep tabs on it, say hello to it, but don’t take it seriously! II. Recognize When you hear it start to chatter, be the Boss of your Critic, thank the Critic for his/her time and then send it packing! III. Forgive Yourself Replace the Critic’s negative talk with a positive affirmation, such as “I am a creative person who is bursting with new ideas!” You’re not perfect and you never will be, but so what? You’re a wonderful, competent person. Strive for excellence instead of perfection and you’ll likely accomplish more with less stress. Next time tell yourself, “I will strive for excellence” instead of “it has to be perfect” Forgive yourself for all of your past mistakes and for all of your future mistakes. Let go of your self-branding or what your third grade teacher told you about being undisciplined. Tell yourself: maybe I am or maybe I’m not undisciplined, but in any case I’m forgiven and I can do better! Don’t let yourself get into your own way on the path to success! As a writer, you’ll always have the Inner Critic in your life, but you can manage the Critic and do your own thing anyway. Grab the life you deserve and don’t let a silly Inner Critic stifle your passion and creativity to prevent you from being the amazing writer you are meant to be!