Today we welcome a guestpost from Cary, NC author and comedian, Cris Cohen! Cris is going to talk to us today about his favorite place to write–almost anywhere!
When people find out that I am a writer, the first question they usually ask is, “How long have you had a drinking problem?” After a few awkward moments of conversation (“Lots of people have Merlot at breakfast”), they will move on to questions like, “Where do you write?”
There is a temptation to tell them that I have a wood-paneled office in my house that has walls lined with first editions of Dickens, Hemingway, and “Bomb Defusing For Dummies.” You want to make it sound like a mystical experience involving the full moon and maybe some sort of animal sacrifice, even if you are just referring to barbecue. “Are you sure the ancient Druids used a smoker.” I also consider feeding into the myth by saying I write with a quill, one of those huge ones that you see in movies, the kind that look like they were pulled from a bird the size of a Winnebago.
The truth is not quite so majestic, though. I write pretty much anywhere, except, say, while driving. “Honey, I want to jot something down. Take the wheel and let me know when to brake.” Although our house has an office that I use, it’s not like what I described above. Instead, the walls are painted and are lined with paperbacks, signed album covers, and roughly six hundred power cords.
I write in the office some of the time, but I can’t spend all day in there. Not that I would mind that. Sometimes my dream vacation involves being put under house arrest. “I carved a slot at the bottom of the door that you can push my meals through.” However, I have to leave the office and even the house for errands, appointments, and to reacquaint myself with things like, well, the sun.
Be it out of the office or out of the house entirely, I usually have a notebook with me. Sometimes it is a composition notebook, the type that they give school kids that has a kind of black and white Rorschach design on the cover. “We use these to test if any of the children have been experimenting with hallucinogens.” Otherwise I have a small notebook with me, something that can fit in a jacket pocket.
I will then write whenever and wherever I have more than five minutes to kill. This can be:
In a doctor’s waiting room, where the only other option is to read one of those celebrity magazines. “How this famous actress courageously got back into shape, relying only on her determination, personal trainer, nutritionist, chef, masseuse, psychologist…”
At a store when my wife goes to the dressing rooms to try on a couple of items. It is either that or walk around the women’s department like a man who is fighting the urge to be a transvestite.
While at the mechanic during my car’s oil change. “And that thermos in the lounge contains either coffee or something from Penzoil. I can’t remember.”
When my son wants me to stay in the room while he watches a DVD. After all, I am quite happy to sit on the couch with him. But after the fiftieth viewing of a video, I am no longer in suspense about what Elmo is going to do next.
So when people ask me where I write, I usually answer “Almost anywhere”. I then give a more thorough explanation about why I don’t have a drinking problem.
About Cris:
Cris Cohen, the author of the “Nothing In Particular” blog, was born in Buffalo, NY, and grew up in a suburb of Los Angeles, eventually graduating from the University of Southern California. After a stint in rock radio in Los Angeles and Santa Barbara, Cris started writing his humor column for a collection of California newspapers. He eventually gravitated toward the tech world and Silicon Valley, working for companies such as Netscape and Cisco Systems. Cris, his wife Michele, and their young son Max moved to Cary, North Carolina, in 2008. Cris’ blog is available at http://criscohen.typepad.com. Read about how Cris and his creative website to land a job here, from Raleigh’s News and Observer. His first book, Staying Crazy To Keep From Going Insane, is due out in the fall of 2011. For more information visit www.stayingcrazy.com.
Your Turn:
Where do you write best? Do you keep to a certain schedule and if you do, are mornings or evenings or somewhere in between the best time to write?
Guestpost: Cris Cohen, Where To Write?
July 25, 2011 by 2 Comments
Today we welcome a guestpost from Cary, NC author and comedian, Cris Cohen! Cris is going to talk to us today about his favorite place to write–almost anywhere!
When people find out that I am a writer, the first question they usually ask is, “How long have you had a drinking problem?” After a few awkward moments of conversation (“Lots of people have Merlot at breakfast”), they will move on to questions like, “Where do you write?”
There is a temptation to tell them that I have a wood-paneled office in my house that has walls lined with first editions of Dickens, Hemingway, and “Bomb Defusing For Dummies.” You want to make it sound like a mystical experience involving the full moon and maybe some sort of animal sacrifice, even if you are just referring to barbecue. “Are you sure the ancient Druids used a smoker.” I also consider feeding into the myth by saying I write with a quill, one of those huge ones that you see in movies, the kind that look like they were pulled from a bird the size of a Winnebago.
The truth is not quite so majestic, though. I write pretty much anywhere, except, say, while driving. “Honey, I want to jot something down. Take the wheel and let me know when to brake.” Although our house has an office that I use, it’s not like what I described above. Instead, the walls are painted and are lined with paperbacks, signed album covers, and roughly six hundred power cords.
I write in the office some of the time, but I can’t spend all day in there. Not that I would mind that. Sometimes my dream vacation involves being put under house arrest. “I carved a slot at the bottom of the door that you can push my meals through.” However, I have to leave the office and even the house for errands, appointments, and to reacquaint myself with things like, well, the sun.
Be it out of the office or out of the house entirely, I usually have a notebook with me. Sometimes it is a composition notebook, the type that they give school kids that has a kind of black and white Rorschach design on the cover. “We use these to test if any of the children have been experimenting with hallucinogens.” Otherwise I have a small notebook with me, something that can fit in a jacket pocket.
I will then write whenever and wherever I have more than five minutes to kill. This can be:
In a doctor’s waiting room, where the only other option is to read one of those celebrity magazines. “How this famous actress courageously got back into shape, relying only on her determination, personal trainer, nutritionist, chef, masseuse, psychologist…”
At a store when my wife goes to the dressing rooms to try on a couple of items. It is either that or walk around the women’s department like a man who is fighting the urge to be a transvestite.
While at the mechanic during my car’s oil change. “And that thermos in the lounge contains either coffee or something from Penzoil. I can’t remember.”
When my son wants me to stay in the room while he watches a DVD. After all, I am quite happy to sit on the couch with him. But after the fiftieth viewing of a video, I am no longer in suspense about what Elmo is going to do next.
So when people ask me where I write, I usually answer “Almost anywhere”. I then give a more thorough explanation about why I don’t have a drinking problem.
About Cris:
Cris Cohen, the author of the “Nothing In Particular” blog, was born in Buffalo, NY, and grew up in a suburb of Los Angeles, eventually graduating from the University of Southern California. After a stint in rock radio in Los Angeles and Santa Barbara, Cris started writing his humor column for a collection of California newspapers. He eventually gravitated toward the tech world and Silicon Valley, working for companies such as Netscape and Cisco Systems. Cris, his wife Michele, and their young son Max moved to Cary, North Carolina, in 2008. Cris’ blog is available at http://criscohen.typepad.com. Read about how Cris and his creative website to land a job here, from Raleigh’s News and Observer. His first book, Staying Crazy To Keep From Going Insane, is due out in the fall of 2011. For more information visit www.stayingcrazy.com.
Your Turn:
Where do you write best? Do you keep to a certain schedule and if you do, are mornings or evenings or somewhere in between the best time to write?
Writers: How Not to Bomb
July 17, 2011 by 2 Comments
How Not to Bomb
How Writers Can Get Paid to Speak
July 11, 2011 by 4 Comments
Not long ago, I spoke for free all of the time. While every professional speaker needs to speak for free, there comes a time when the apprenticeship should end. I’d like to share five tips I’ve learned as I’ve gone from from free to fee.
Publishing Credits: It’s a lot easier to book speaking gigs if you have published a book (or two or three!) or have a wealth of columns or articles. Get to work now if you need more publishing credits!
Have a Website or Blog: You need an easy way for organizations to book you and for them to see what you’re all about. Brag that you have speaking experience and be sure to post videos and testimonials from your prior talks.
Establish your platform: As a writer, what’s your niche? What’s your expertise? Are you a technical writer or a memoirist? Do you enjoy giving talks about marketing or about craft? Most of all, be unique. What makes you the person and writer you are today? Bank on your personality and experience! For example, I bank on having a business background combined with a writing one. Develop catchy headlines for your talks as you develop your talk topics. Be clear on your topics and what you can/can’t speak about. How do your talks fill a gap for your audience? What can you give in your talks that no one else can?
As a writer, your audience may be writing clubs, conferences or associations. Venture outside your immediate area. Join out of state writing clubs and networking groups. They may want you at their next conference! You may also want to look at corporate training, professional associations and networking groups that pay their speakers.
Create a One-Sheet Profile: You’ll need to create a one-page profile in Word and then save it as a PDF. This profile will contain your headshot, your bio, your technical requirements (projector, outlets, flip chart, etc.), several speaking topics with 150 word descriptions and at least 3 short testimonials. Keep it to one page! You’ll send this profile next time you receive a speaking query or when you send a query.
Be Clear in Your Fees: Know what you’re worth and share this whenever a coordinator contacts you. Practice saying, “My fee is _________.” Get comfortable asking for money! Negotiate the fee over the phone and not over email. If they don’t want to pay you or can’t pay you, give the coordinator a referral or two so that you come to mind as a professional.
It’s also a great idea to join Toastmasters to become an even better speaker (get rid of those ahhs and umms!) and once you have given a few talks join the National Speakers Association (NSA). Toastmasters and NSA offer excellent continuing education resources, they host conferences and you can keep your up skills and paid speaking commitment with local chapters.
Your Turn:
If you’re a professional speaker, what other tips can you offer here that I haven’t mentioned? If you want to speak for a fee, what has been stopping you? Please share here!
